Paul, 47 - Brighton
Where were you born?
Essex
When did you first become aware of circumcision?
When I was about 5 or 6. I knew that I had to try to pull my foreskin back every time I had a bath and I think I was already aware that my Dad’s penis looked different from mine (and a lot larger, of course) but I didn’t connect the two at all. Then I went to school and was teased because when I had a pee my foreskin ballooned out as it was too tight for the pee to get out quickly enough. Up until then I had, I guess, assumed that everyone’s did that. Afterwards, I used a cubicle and avoided urinals, so that no one else would see it. I remember going home worried that I was a freak and telling my Mum, who told me that it was all ok and I was normal but that if I wasn’t able to pull my foreskin back then eventually, one day, I would have to be circumcised, like Dad.
Looking back on it, I definitely associated circumcision with masculinity as a kid. I swam a lot and I was aware of older men there who had dicks like Dad’s but from what I remember all of the boys had foreskins like me. I also used to play a lot with the kids next door and their brother (who was a teenager, much older and far too cool to play with us) was really good at sport, particularly football, and I hero worshiped him. Apparently there was some kind of mums’ network, as mine told me that he had had problems as a kid and was circumcised. That just made him more of a man in my eyes and increased my hero worship.
I switched schools at 9 and had to start showering after sport and I vividly remember one boy in the changing room, who was clearly an early developer, who had an enormous dick and was circumcised (the only one in the class) and that being the first time that I realised that it could have already happened to people my age and not just older people.
Are any members of your immediate family circumcised?
My Dad; I am an only child. On my mother’s side of the family, I gather, all the men were but they were all my Dad’s age or older and quite Victorian, so that was probably just a sign of the times.
At what age were you circumcised?
11. The Doctor finally decided that there was nothing else for it and that it was best to get a move on before I hit puberty. I remember being very nervous as it was a full-on operation and I had to stay in hospital. I also remember desperately wanting to have the ballooning problem dealt with, so that I could be ‘normal’. Oddly, given everything else I’ve said, I don’t remember thinking, ‘Wow, I am on the way to becoming a man’. I think I was far too nervous about it for that!
What is the main reason you were circumcised?
Phimosis. I have a big glans and, presumably, had a small foreskin. It was so tight that I had never even seen my helmet until after I had been circumcised.
Are you happy about being circumcised?
Very. I never looked back. I could start using urinals like all my mates and I hit puberty almost immediately afterwards – I don’t want to think about how painful it might have been had I started getting erections or trying to wank if my foreskin had still been in place, let alone what my sex life would have been like as I got older. I changed schools again at 13 and I’d say the Roundhead/Cavalier split there was roughly 50/50 so I didn’t even stand out as unusual. The only time I was conscious of being different really was outside of school when I went swimming, when I did get one or two comments in the showers, or wearing swimming trunks or shorts in the summer or on holiday, when my helmet could be pretty obvious through the fabric.
This is probably straying from the point but I do also look back in disbelief at the complete lack of choice about how I was circumcised; I was just told it was going to happen and then it was done. I had no idea back then that you could choose how high or tight it would be or that you could even keep your frenulum or what impact any of that might have on how your penis looked or functioned sexually. For example, I had a mate when I was a teenager who had been cut as an infant, I now assume by clamp, and was so tight that he could only wank using lube/spit whereas I had been cut freehand and had the best of both worlds. I think it’s really important that sites like this one provide a place where a teenager or adult who is going to be circumcised can ask questions and get real-life, experienced answers that they can use to inform their choice about the type of cut they want.
Essex
When did you first become aware of circumcision?
When I was about 5 or 6. I knew that I had to try to pull my foreskin back every time I had a bath and I think I was already aware that my Dad’s penis looked different from mine (and a lot larger, of course) but I didn’t connect the two at all. Then I went to school and was teased because when I had a pee my foreskin ballooned out as it was too tight for the pee to get out quickly enough. Up until then I had, I guess, assumed that everyone’s did that. Afterwards, I used a cubicle and avoided urinals, so that no one else would see it. I remember going home worried that I was a freak and telling my Mum, who told me that it was all ok and I was normal but that if I wasn’t able to pull my foreskin back then eventually, one day, I would have to be circumcised, like Dad.
Looking back on it, I definitely associated circumcision with masculinity as a kid. I swam a lot and I was aware of older men there who had dicks like Dad’s but from what I remember all of the boys had foreskins like me. I also used to play a lot with the kids next door and their brother (who was a teenager, much older and far too cool to play with us) was really good at sport, particularly football, and I hero worshiped him. Apparently there was some kind of mums’ network, as mine told me that he had had problems as a kid and was circumcised. That just made him more of a man in my eyes and increased my hero worship.
I switched schools at 9 and had to start showering after sport and I vividly remember one boy in the changing room, who was clearly an early developer, who had an enormous dick and was circumcised (the only one in the class) and that being the first time that I realised that it could have already happened to people my age and not just older people.
Are any members of your immediate family circumcised?
My Dad; I am an only child. On my mother’s side of the family, I gather, all the men were but they were all my Dad’s age or older and quite Victorian, so that was probably just a sign of the times.
At what age were you circumcised?
11. The Doctor finally decided that there was nothing else for it and that it was best to get a move on before I hit puberty. I remember being very nervous as it was a full-on operation and I had to stay in hospital. I also remember desperately wanting to have the ballooning problem dealt with, so that I could be ‘normal’. Oddly, given everything else I’ve said, I don’t remember thinking, ‘Wow, I am on the way to becoming a man’. I think I was far too nervous about it for that!
What is the main reason you were circumcised?
Phimosis. I have a big glans and, presumably, had a small foreskin. It was so tight that I had never even seen my helmet until after I had been circumcised.
Are you happy about being circumcised?
Very. I never looked back. I could start using urinals like all my mates and I hit puberty almost immediately afterwards – I don’t want to think about how painful it might have been had I started getting erections or trying to wank if my foreskin had still been in place, let alone what my sex life would have been like as I got older. I changed schools again at 13 and I’d say the Roundhead/Cavalier split there was roughly 50/50 so I didn’t even stand out as unusual. The only time I was conscious of being different really was outside of school when I went swimming, when I did get one or two comments in the showers, or wearing swimming trunks or shorts in the summer or on holiday, when my helmet could be pretty obvious through the fabric.
This is probably straying from the point but I do also look back in disbelief at the complete lack of choice about how I was circumcised; I was just told it was going to happen and then it was done. I had no idea back then that you could choose how high or tight it would be or that you could even keep your frenulum or what impact any of that might have on how your penis looked or functioned sexually. For example, I had a mate when I was a teenager who had been cut as an infant, I now assume by clamp, and was so tight that he could only wank using lube/spit whereas I had been cut freehand and had the best of both worlds. I think it’s really important that sites like this one provide a place where a teenager or adult who is going to be circumcised can ask questions and get real-life, experienced answers that they can use to inform their choice about the type of cut they want.
"There’s a mutual recognition there when you meet another bloke who is cut"
What is the best/worst thing about being circumcised?
Not having the ballooning problem or any of the pain which I think I would have had once I hit puberty. I will never know if I have lost any sensation, as I was too young to be able to compare before and after, but reading cautiously between the lines of comments some of my mates have made over the years, I think that I probably have. I’m not sure that’s a bad thing though – I get the impression that their glans are too sensitive to even touch whereas I and my sexual partners have definitely had a lot of fun making the most of mine over the years!
I also think a circumcised penis looks better and that there’s a sort of brotherhood to it, at least in this country where it’s not the norm. I gym and swim quite a lot and feel there’s a mutual recognition there when you meet another bloke who is cut. I’ve certainly experienced guys in the changing rooms going out of their way to make sure that I am aware that they are as well.
If you had a son, would you circumcise him?
I doubt I will have any children (have left it a bit late now) but, on balance, yes. From talking to my Dad when I was older I found out that my uncle had had ‘problems’ and that he and his younger brothers (Dad included) had therefore been circumcised and I also know that at least one of my cousins had to be. I suspect phimosis runs in the family and I would very much want to spare my son what I experienced. I once had a slightly drunken pub talk along those lines with one of my mates a few years ago, just after he and his wife had twin boys. He was circumcised at 4 (he doesn’t know why but presumes he had a ‘problem’) and was undecided but his wife was dead against and I think they have left it but are keeping an eye out for any problems as the boys get older. I can understand wanting to leave be and let them make their own minds up when they get older (it is their bodies, after all) but I certainly wish I had been circumcised before I was old enough to go to school and in case he needs circumcising I’d rather my son was cut at a younger age than I was, as it’s both less involved and traumatic and he’d not have to experience any problems.
Not having the ballooning problem or any of the pain which I think I would have had once I hit puberty. I will never know if I have lost any sensation, as I was too young to be able to compare before and after, but reading cautiously between the lines of comments some of my mates have made over the years, I think that I probably have. I’m not sure that’s a bad thing though – I get the impression that their glans are too sensitive to even touch whereas I and my sexual partners have definitely had a lot of fun making the most of mine over the years!
I also think a circumcised penis looks better and that there’s a sort of brotherhood to it, at least in this country where it’s not the norm. I gym and swim quite a lot and feel there’s a mutual recognition there when you meet another bloke who is cut. I’ve certainly experienced guys in the changing rooms going out of their way to make sure that I am aware that they are as well.
If you had a son, would you circumcise him?
I doubt I will have any children (have left it a bit late now) but, on balance, yes. From talking to my Dad when I was older I found out that my uncle had had ‘problems’ and that he and his younger brothers (Dad included) had therefore been circumcised and I also know that at least one of my cousins had to be. I suspect phimosis runs in the family and I would very much want to spare my son what I experienced. I once had a slightly drunken pub talk along those lines with one of my mates a few years ago, just after he and his wife had twin boys. He was circumcised at 4 (he doesn’t know why but presumes he had a ‘problem’) and was undecided but his wife was dead against and I think they have left it but are keeping an eye out for any problems as the boys get older. I can understand wanting to leave be and let them make their own minds up when they get older (it is their bodies, after all) but I certainly wish I had been circumcised before I was old enough to go to school and in case he needs circumcising I’d rather my son was cut at a younger age than I was, as it’s both less involved and traumatic and he’d not have to experience any problems.